To the ones that have trampled over my heart, thank you. To the one that pierced my heart to make me feel a pain so sharp, so deep that I thought I would never love again, thank you. Despite the bullshit you’ve thrown my way, I’ve managed to still give myself whole heartedly. I’ve learned to wait, to offer it to the one who would be able to love as selflessly as I do. I’ve lived a short life, but I’ve learned wisdom which I like to think not many even in old age have come to realize. I’m competitive with my love because I know it’s not for everyone. I ask about the ones that did you wrong, the moments that hurt you, the ones that broke your heart because I want to do you right in every way. Be everything no one else could be for you. Show you how love is supposed to feel because baby, I promise that I will do my all to make it that no love after me will ever be as beautiful, fulfilling or passionate as mine. I love with all of me, I give you all of me. So, to the ones that have trampled my heart, thank you. You’ve taught me that my love is resilient beyond means and have shown me everything that love is not, so that this time around, I know what exactly what love is.
An unwavering love that knows no struggle despite our struggles
A love so unconditional that above my anger and frustration, above my hurt, I feel nothing but that love for you.
A resilient love that knows no time or distance for I feel like I’ve loved you for years, across lifetimes, across countries and continents.
This internal battle of self worth vs hopelessness has reached it’s peak tonight and has come to remind me why I used to be such a carefree person. It’s just easier to not care, to let what happens happen and just live in the terminal things that make me happy. I’ve forgotten the rewards of struggle and I have every intention to make myself remember, make myself know that if there is trust in your struggle, then your efforts are not put to waste. Makibaka, huwag matakot. Dare to struggle, do not fear.
“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. And by doing it, they’re proven right. Because, I think there’s something inside of you—and inside of all of us—when we see something and we think, ‘I think I can do it, I think I can do it. But I’m afraid to.’ Bridging that gap, doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that—THAT is what life is. And I think you might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s special. And if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself. Now you know. A mystery is solved. So, I think you should just give it a try. Just inch yourself out of that back line. Step into life. Courage. Risks. Go. Now.”
— (via ambermozo)
“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”
— (via thatkindofwoman)
Two months in, as happy and exciting as the first day.
Two months in, and I no longer look at you with the same eyes.
I see the beyond the physical beauty that won my attraction, into so much more.
I peel back each layer.
My eyes look.
Into the future of us, happy, strong, established, resilient against time and all odds.
My lips kiss.
Past the walls built up from lovers and disappointments past into vulnerability that, to me, does not make you weak, but only strong for persisting through what you have.
My hands hold.
Tight, fingers laced, between delicate hands that no longer have to be empty, or useless, for they find meaning in being the only things that keep me grounded, two feet on the floor.
My mind expands.
You have become like my favorite book. I could read you over and over again and find something new to appreciate and be in awe of each time. With the turn of every page, I come to learn that limits are boundless, and together we understand there is always more to learn about each other and of the world.
My heart beats and my smile grows.
As we grow together, showing me that this, what we have, why I wake up each morning, is beyond a mere physical attraction, but a meaningful, worthwhile partnership where the full potential of each entity is being strived for.
Each part of me, all of me is affected by you. You’ve found your way, even to the darkest corners of my heart and mind, bringing us to the realization that this love is more than skin deep. It is built on layer upon layer of understanding, of thirst to learn more, of love beyond the minds limits.
Two months in, and already, I see the rest of my life.